A little bit ago, we got an estimate for simply fixing up our pool to make it functional, and as I am sure you guessed, it came back at a whopping $34,000…  Don’t get me wrong, I expected the estimate to be high (say $20-25k), but not THAT high!  I mean, this estimate didn’t even include adding a hot tub, putting in concrete stools / water bar, running a beer tap from the basement, nothin’.

In the next few days of ranting (which my wife graciously put up with), I decided to go on a crusade to figure out exactly what else that kind of money could buy.  So, here we go…


$34,000 can buy:

An Aston f*cking Martin

It’s true; you can get an Aston Martin DB7 for around $34k.  It’s only a matter of time until I wear Lynne down far enough to get one 🙂

A brand new BMW 3-series

To stick with the car category, you can get a brand new BMW 3-series for around $34k.  No car loan, no certified pre-owned, no nothin.

Two Ford Focuses

Ok, this one is actually pretty dumb because nobody has a use for two Ford Focuses (or is it Foci?).  My apologies to anyone reading this who owns more than one Ford Focus.

A 1.23 ct Yellow Diamond Ring from Tiffanys

Yeah, that’s a pretty ridiculous (albeit beautiful) diamond ring.  Maybe I can use this as a compromise for getting my Aston Martin……

A 103″ Plasma Screen TV

Do you feel the need to over compensate?  This this TV is for you…  Honestly, who really needs an 8.5 foot television?  That’s 1.5 feet taller than Shaquille O’Neal!

Two Lots on a Golf Course in Pleasanton, NE

Not exactly sure how I found Pleasanton, NE, but you sure as heck can buy two golf-course-front lots to build your dream home!  I can already smell that sweet Nebraska corn a-cookin.

A Really Sweet Tractor AND a Pull Behind Mower too

This is probably just the emerging country boy in me, but this seems like a REALLY cool mowing setup.  I will give you that it’s the definition of overkill, but who cares?!

A Full Blown Industrial Excavator AND a John Deere Stylized Orchard Grove Tractor

Ok, so this is just me getting carried away with the whole “what kind of heavy machinery can $34k buy” thing, but that Orchard Grove Tractor is really cool!

1,135 Honey Crisp Apple Trees

I do love me some honey crisp apples, so I just had to know how many trees bearing this delectable delight $34k could be.  At 84 trees per acre, this comes out to a 13.5 acre apple orchard!

11 Milk Cows (conservatively)

My wife loves cows (don’t ask me why), so this one is mainly for her.  Again, this is another bargaining chip to get my Aston!

3,500 sq ft Putting Green in our Back Yard

This would more than cover the gaping hole in the ground where our pool used to be.  On second thought, I wonder how much it would cost to turn the pool into the most epic pot-hole bunker ever?  Fun fact: this putting green would actually be 3x bigger than our place in Alexandria!

A REALLY Sweet Tree House

How cool is this tree house?  I mean, it comes with its own freaking tree (kinda)!!  I gotta admit I would play in this thing for hours…although we would clearly buy it for Evie……


Well, I guess that’s the end of my list for now.  I certainly would be interested in anyone else’s observation as to what other cool stuff costs $34,000!