I will be the first to admit my life has been kind of insanely busy as of late.
But in the best, best way possible.
I used to try to write on a normal, frequent basis about what was going on in my life, going on with our house, going on with the theme of renovations… and lately I just haven’t made the time to write. I was in our backyard the other day lamenting the growth of the weeds since the summer began; I feel like we’ve just been bombarded with uncontrollable weeds and growth that’s taken over. There’s been a lot of rain and David hasn’t been able to keep up with it as much as he did the last two summers.
Above is a picture of just one of the patches of weeds I’m talking about. I watched this patch grow from our bedroom window and could see, week by week, as it started taking over the back corner of the lawn.And week by week, we did nothing about it.
And then the most beautiful thing happened.
Flowers grew out of the weeds! Totally unexpected, totally beautiful, totally wild.
I think that kind of sums up my life as a new mama. It is a crazy, wild ride, and no one can prepare you for the unexpected growth you’ll experience. No one can begin to tell you about the daily struggles you face as you worry about your baby every second of the day and the anxiety that comes with being a first time mom. There’s constant anxiety– are they teething? Maybe it’s an ear infection? Did they get a long enough nap? Have they had enough to eat today? Should I let them cry a little bit? — and you think about them all. the. time.
And then, overpowering the constant anxiety, is the constant amazement– did they just figure out how to splash in the tub?! Are they able to turn the page by themselves?! Do they understand the word ‘up’ already?! — and the complete, encompassing delight in everything they delight in, whether it be their feet, the itsy bitsy spider, crawling around in waves at the beach, or getting their hand licked by a dog.
When that amazement and delight grab hold of you, you forget about the rest of life. Suddenly your to-do list isn’t that important. The dishes pile up in the sink, the dust accumulates on the window sill, and the bedsheets somehow haven’t gotten washed in weeks.
The weeds grow as you spend more and more time falling in love with your baby.
And it’s okay. 🙂
It’s more than okay.